That Awkwardness

Yesterday I set aside some time to work on some drawings.

I’d had these images floating around in my head. More than images, they were ideas, the essences of the images.

(Well, it makes perfect sense to my brain, anyway.)

I was excited to finally be able to let these idea-images out onto paper.

Pausing before jumping in: actually not a bad idea

For some reason I paused, and remembered something from the last time this happened. Which was incredibly good luck, as it turns out.

With that experience in mind, I decided to write myself a reminder at the top of the page. Here’s what it said:

At the beginning, it’s going to be awkward and you won’t be satisfied. It will feel uncomfortable.

That’s okay. Notice it and keep going.

These ideas need to come out. And they’ll need a few workings before they’re ready to be judged, whether by you or by anyone else.

There’s time.

I thought it was a bit cheesy but for some reason it made sense to me.

And then it made even more sense. Because I was right: it was really frigging awkward at first. And I nearly gave up, because that awkwardness is no fun.

Then I remembered what I had written.

And I kept going.

It didn’t magically stop feeling awkward, because translating (somewhat vague) ideas into two-dimensional form is not always easy. But I kept at it and had fun anyway.

It reminded me of that part at the beginning of any project when the comparison between the thing as it is in your head and the thing you’ve done so far is just… uncomfortable. Really awkward.

I definitely put a lot of pressure on myself to get it right the first time. Part of my practice is reminding myself that whoa, that’s a bit too much pressure for a mere human being such as myself. And that strangely enough, pressure is not always so conducive to the creative process.

Who knew.

That awkward stage is tricky, because it’s so easy to abandon the project just to feel less uncomfortable. And yet, I get the sense that if we stick with our projects, we can learn something useful from that awkwardness.

So I thought I’d share my reminders here. They might even come in handy with one of your projects.

COMMENTS: I run into this uncomfortable phase in creative projects of all kinds, not just the art ones. Do you have experience with the awkwardness? What has worked for you?

As always, in this space we try to be kind to ourselves and to others when sharing our thoughts. And if someone isn’t asking for help or advice, we’ll assume they just want to be heard instead.

Wishing you ease and smoothness for all the awkward moments.